In this episode we are going to be talking about how to get students to listen to you. I am probably being a little bit deceptive in the title here but I really want to emphasize this. In this episode I am actually going to be talking about how you can become a skillful listener. The reason I said how to get kids to listen to you is simply this: your students will not listen to you if you do not know how to listen to them. If you do not model good listening, your students won’t respond with good listening. So I want to show you some of the skills for becoming an effective listener and how you can do that well and get your students modeling the same behavior.
Before we get into it I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by the Behavior Management Blueprint. This is my FREE e-book on the five key essentials of classroom management and it also comes with a free mini video course as well. You can download that by clicking the link at the end of the blog.
Prefer to watch the Video, Click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_sYaxizdvQ&t=3s
1. Make Eye Contact.
The first thing is this: if you want to listen well, learn to make eye contact. Whenever your students want to talk to you, make eye contact with them. Whether they are asking a question, coming to your desk, coming to you in the playground, stop what you are doing and look at them. Give them eye contact that shows that you are engaged with them and that you want to hear what they have to say. If you are working on your laptop, close the lid and look at them. If they are on the other side of the class walk over to them, look at them “Yes how can I help you?” Give them your direct attention. Make sure that you are giving them eye contact. It is very,very powerful to show that you are listening well and it’s crucial if you want them to do the same for you.
2. Use Body Language.
The second thing is this, you need to lean in and use body language that indicates you are interested in them. What I am talking about is being present in the conversation, rather than having your body turned away from them indicating that you are not really listening, for example, saying, “Yeah, yeah” and turning off to the side. Instead, turn towards them. Be open in your body language, do not stand there with your hands on your hips or distracted with your phone, use body language that shows them that you actually care about what they are saying and that you are engaged with what they are saying.
One of the things that I do with small children is this, I get down to their level so maybe crouch down or kneel down, sit on a chair, sit on the edge of the desk, whatever it is get down to their eye level. Show them that you are fully attentive to what they are saying so that they do not feel that you are just fobbing them off or not listening.
3. Ask Questions.
The third thing for being an effective listener is to ask lots of questions. Take the time to fully understand what the child or student is saying to you. A lot of the time children get frustrated because they feel like adults do not hear them, the adults just talk over the top of them or adults don’t let them finish their sentences. It is really important as an adult that you take the time to really understand what they are trying to say. Sometimes you might have to ask for clarification saying, “Can you explain that a little bit more, I am not sure that I quite understand what you said. Could you take me through it again?” Ask questions so that you make sure you understand what they are saying and they feel like you are actually paying attention. If you want them to do this for you, you have got to model it for them.
4. Listen to Understand.
The fourth thing to becoming a skillful listener and modeling good listening for your students is this, when you listen to them do not just listen to respond. Do not just listen to give them an answer. Listen to understand. What I mean by this is, most of us, when we listen, we are actually thinking about a story or a response in our head and the minute they stop talking we jump in with our response. If you take a moment and just pause after they finish talking and think about what you are going to say, what it shows is that you are actually processing what they are saying. You are showing them that you are actually taking it seriously and not just jumping in or talking over the top of them. Take the time to figure out whether they have finished. I would even lead with a check of clarification by saying, “Ok, so what I am hearing you say is this… did I get that correct ?”
When you check for understanding, when you listen for understanding rather than listening to respond, your students are going to be more interested in listening to you and wanting to understand you. Too often as adults we do not take seriously the importance of listening to students or hearing what they have to say and I am guilty of this too. I have to remind myself that what they are saying matters and they need to be able to be heard. They need to feel like they are heard. When students feel like they are heard they are more willing to listen to you and go along with what you are trying to say.
So these are a few tips on the art of listening and actually getting students to listen by modeling good listening yourself. I hope you found that really interesting. If you want to learn more tips like these, do not forget to check out our online course called “Behavior Management Essentials.” The link is in the description below. It is four hours of content, a deep dive into behaviour management, taken from our live workshops. If you have enjoyed this, then share it with somebody that you think would benefit and I will see you next time.
If you would like to learn more about managing classroom behaviour effectively, why not check out our FREE video course Behaviour Management Blueprint. See below for details.
https://calmerclassrooms.today/blueprint/
Essential Strategies for Effective Behaviour Management
