We are going to look at five ways that you can manage an escalating student. What do I mean by escalating? I’m talking about somebody that’s becoming overly aggressive and demonstrative in their misbehaviour. They might be yelling, getting violent, throwing things or tipping desks over. Not all of you will have those sorts of experiences but I know some of you work in schools where this is a reality. So I want to show you how you can handle these situations while still minimizing harm to other students and yourself.
- Remain Calm.
- Acknowledge what the student is saying.
- Avoid “why” questions.
- Remove the audience.
- Use “If- then” statements.
Prefer to watch the video, click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8LDm2pzdEg&t=19s
1. Remain calm.
The first thing you need to do when you have got an escalating student is to remain calm. I did most of my teaching in low socio-economic areas in Brisbane. West Brisbane and South Brisbane are probably the two areas in Brisbane that have the most challenging behaviour issues. Aggressive and violent behaviour is not uncommon. So it wasn’t uncommon for a child to start screaming or swearing at the teacher, flipping desks over and throwing objects around the classroom. This was the world that I cut my teeth on when teaching and that’s probably where I developed a lot of my behaviour management strategies and techniques.
I know that is not what all of you experience but at some point, you will deal with a child that has escalated more than normal, whether they are tantrum-throwing little children or whether they are aggressive or violent older students. Maybe you’re working with special needs students who sometimes have outbursts or demonstrative behaviour. So how do you deal with it while keeping everyone safe, including yourself but also being able to work with the child in a proactive way?
So the first thing is to remain calm in those situations. Yes, they can be scary, they can be very confronting for you as the teacher but it’s important that you remain calm at all times.
I made a video about this a couple of weeks ago so make sure you go to my youtube channel to look at the ways that you can stay calm and why it’s so important. If you don’t stay calm you will actually contribute to the escalation because the more escalated you become the more escalated the student will become. So you need to keep things really low, talk in a calm measured voice, make sure that you are not making quick movements or any movements that would be threatening. Be aware of your body language to ensure that it’s not confronting or threatening. If you stay calm, there’s a better chance that you’ll calm the student down but it will also reassure the rest of the class that everything’s under control.
2. Acknowledge what the student is saying.
The second thing you need to do is, you need to acknowledge what the student is saying. Very often, if students are escalated it is because they feel like they have been backed into a corner and nobody is listening to them. They feel like they have not got a solution to their problem. So you need to acknowledge that you hear their distress. Say, “Ok I understand that you are having a hard time right now and I want to help you but first of all you need to calm down. I want to listen to you but we need to sit down so we can have a chat.”
By doing this, you acknowledge them. Remember to use language that empathizes with their situation. Say, “I see and I understand that you are very upset about this and I want to help you, but we need to do this in an appropriate fashion.” Do not dismiss what they’re saying even if you don’t agree. It’s really important not to be dismissive in your language because if you are, it will escalate the situation further and you won’t get buy-in from them. If they are in that fight-flight mode of thinking, it’s very hard for them to have a decent conversation with you. So make sure you are empathetic and not dismissive.
3. Avoid “why” questions.
Thirdly, you need to avoid “why” questions. If a student is escalated they’re already in their fight or flight reaction. Don’t ask questions like, “Why are you behaving like this?” or, “Why did you flip the desk?” or,” Why did you swear at me?”. “Why” questions invite argument. You need to give the student as few options as possible to argue, without making them feel like they are not being heard.
I like to use a technique that basically just elicits a one-word response. You need to steer them towards the outcomes that you want. Ask them, “What should you be doing right now?” They may reply, “I should be sitting down.” You say, “What are you actually doing right now?” They may say, ” I’m throwing the desk around.” You reply, “Would you like to talk to me?” and they say “Yes” you respond saying, “I’m happy to talk to you but can you come to my desk at the front so we can talk about it?” Keep the questioning to a minimum but make sure the questioning directs them towards an outcome that you want.
Don’t get into the “whys” too much. The “whys” happen after they’re calm. If you can calm them down and they are willing to have a conversation, they are not operating out of the flight/ fight part of their brain and they are thinking more rationally. Now you can say, “Tell me what was going on. Why were you getting so angry about this?” Then you can give them a chance to explain themselves. Always remember that when a student is escalated, “Why” questions will be an invitation to argument and can cause them to escalate further.
4. Remove the audience.
The fourth tip is this, remove the audience. If you think that it is a situation where the student is attention-seeking and you feel that the classroom is becoming an unsafe place, because they are throwing desks or engaging in other forms of unsafe behaviour, don’t try and stop them from being destructive, or lashing out or being physical. What you need to do is remove the person that is in harm’s way. So you know if the angry student is lashing out at a particular student, then go to that student and say “Hey come and sit over here.” Don’t try to confront the student that’s escalating and get in the way because you might get a fist or chair in your face and you don’t want that!
If the escalating student is standing there screaming at the class, what you can do is to say, “Class, I want you to get your books. We’re going to stand up, we’re going to go out together and we’re going to finish this lesson outside.” What will often happen is that, if you can remove the audience or remove the target, it gives the escalating student enough space to calm down and they usually won’t follow you. I’ve found that when you remove an audience, very often a student that’s escalated won’t follow you, they will just stay there and maybe trash the room but they won’t necessarily chase you out the door. That’s really important to keep the other students and yourself safe.
5. Use “If then” statements.
Finally, when you get to a point where the escalated student is ready to converse and they are using single word answers, you can get them to respond properly by using “If – then” statements. You can say, “If you come to my desk and I’m able to talk to you, then we’ll work this out together. If you can sit down and calm down then we’ll talk about your problem and what’s upsetting you. So by using “If – then” statements, what you’re asking them to do is, to first comply in a very small way to a simple request.
Then you are acknowledging that you understand that they need to talk and express their point of view, but you require them to do something first. If- then statements will help you to bring the student to a place where he can talk calmly and rationally rather than just screaming at you or throwing things at you.
It’s really important to remember this. There is no situation that requires you to get into a confrontation with a student or insert yourself into a confrontation unless somebody is in harm’s way. If it’s property being damaged, just get yourself out of the way. Get the other students out of the way but don’t try and stop the escalated student from damaging property. That’s when teachers get hurt. If you try to take the chair out of the student’s hand or try to stand in the way of a student that is being threatened then teachers end up getting hurt.
Don’t put yourself in harm’s way to protect property. Property can be replaced and the school has insurance for that. Just get students out of harm’s way, don’t buy into the manipulative tactic of the student that is trying to threaten you by swearing at you. Avoid getting angry and reacting.
I don’t need to worry about a 12-year old that calls me the ‘f word’ because I don’t lose sleep over that at all. If I can keep my head in the right space, I can deal with the situation more calmly. The only time that you need to really jump in and intervene is if somebody is in harm’s way. Remove the child that’s in harm’s way or if you yourself are in harm’s way you need to step away and move from the situation but don’t protect property. Don’t get indignant when they call you names because that further inflames the situation.
These are five tips that I think will help you in an escalating situation. I know it’s not everybody’s reality, but some teachers have got some pretty rough classrooms, so make sure you stay calm. Don’t forget to watch my video on staying calm if you want to learn more about this.
So, to recap the 5 tips:
- Acknowledge them.
- Make statements to show that you understand and that you empathize.
- Avoid “why” questions.
- Remove the audience if necessary.
- Use “If then” statements.
I hope that helps, I’ve got much more information on dealing with escalated students in my course entitled Behavior Management Essentials. So if you want to really dig deeper into this, I recommend that you go over to my website “Calmerclassrooms.today” and check out our video course called Behaviour Management Essentials. We take a deep dive into managing behaviour in highly intense situations, hopefully that will be really helpful.
If you would like to learn more about managing classroom behaviour effectively, why not check out our FREE video course Behaviour Management Blueprint. See below for details.
FREE eBook – Behaviour Management Blueprint:
5 Essential Strategies for Effective Behaviour Management
