This week I want to talk to you about how to respond to students who destroy property. Now whether this is damaging school property, your property, a fellow student’s property; whether it is minor, like breaking pencils or tearing books up or if it is major like punching holes in walls, breaking desks or graffiti, I am talking about these misdemeanors in the context of destroying property.
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Why Do Children Destroy Property ?
1. They do not understand the Value
We have to realise or understand that children may not understand the value of the property. So the context is this; as an adult, you know how much things cost, you know the sacrifices that are made to purchase a said property, therefore you have a better understanding of value. Children very often do not have an understanding of value so sometimes their destruction of property can be innocent in the sense that they are not thinking about the consequences of what they might be doing. They are just doing it.
Carving things on the desk may not seem like a big deal because they did not pay for the desk. As far as they can tell, their parents do not pay for the desk either, so how does it do harm ? It’s not a foul as it does not hurt anybody. They do not have any perceived value of it, it is an absent-minded disregard of value but not because they are malicious, but because they just do not think.
2. Curiosity
When I was 7 years old my dad bought a brand-new car. I was sitting in the car one day and I found his Stanley knife. I was curious to find out how sharp the blade was and did not take into consideration that my dad had just bought a brand new car. I thought, ” What can I cut? Oh I know, I am in the car so maybe I will see if it can cut the seat”. I ran the blade across the back seat of my dad’s brand-new car to see how sharp the blade was. It was sharp and my dad’s brand-new car seat opened up and a huge crack appeared. I was not being malicious, but I was thinking at that moment, about how sharp the blade was. I was just curious.
Sometimes kids engage in destructive behaviour not because they are trying to be destructive but because their curiosity gets the better of them. They do not think through the consequences or the repercussions of their actions, so sometimes they do not understand the value and sometimes it’s just curiosity.
3. Revenge
At other times destroying property is the defiant disregard for the adults whom they are trying to punish because they are seeking revenge. They are angry with you and they feel the best way to get back at the adult is to destroy something of value to that adult. Maybe they are angry with another child so they destroy the property of that other child; so we have to be aware of their motives when revenge is at play.
4. A Cry for Help
Another reason they destroy property is a cry for help. Sometimes destroying things is a child’s way of saying, “I am in turmoil emotionally, I have got a problem that I do not know how to deal with and I need somebody to notice, I need somebody to ask me what’s going on”. There are a few different reasons why kids would destroy property. If kids are destroying property in your class do not be too quick to react and just jump on it and start punishing the student. Take the time to try and understand why they did it and whether there is a deeper issue going on that needs to be addressed.
5. Acceptance
Sometimes they are doing it for acceptance. So when there is a group, they might be egged on by their peers and because they want to fit in, they will sometimes do stupid things because they want to be accepted by the group.
So those are some of the reasons why children destroy property, but how can you respond ?
How to Respond?
1. Understand the reason
The first thing is to try to understand the reason why. Take a moment to ask them, “Hey what is going on here? What was actually happening when you did this?” To understand, you have got to do it calmly. You cannot be angry when you ask, “Why?” If you ask “Why” in an angry tone the kid will clam up and they will not tell you anything; so you need to seek to understand. When you seek to understand, you may decipher one of the above mentioned reasons. Then that will inform the next step which is contextualizing the damage for them.
2. Contextualize the Damage
If the child does not have an understanding of value, then you have got to contextualize it for them. You have got to help them understand by saying, for example, “Hey you know this desk cost the school two hundred and fifty dollars and if you do the Math, in this classroom we have got 30 desks”. “How much money did the school pay for these desks? Did you know that your parents make contributions in fees, so their fees go towards this desk? If we have to replace desks that are destroyed then one of the ways that we would be able to afford the cost is to increase the fees and then your parents would have to pay more. Do you think mum and dad would be happy about paying more in fees because our desks are being destroyed?”
Now, the kids will probably say, “No,” but you have to get them to think about it. Say, “This desk has value because it costs something to buy. It is not something that you just scratch on as if it has no value. It costs somebody something, it costs the school something, it costs your parents something.” You have got to help them understand the value of that property.
3. Seek Empathy
Now you have got to help them seek empathy. Once you contextualize value, help them to understand how much something costs and why it matters. You have got to seek empathy. You’ve got to ask them, “What is something that you have that is really expensive and valuable?” For most kids nowadays, it is an Xbox or a PlayStation, or an iPhone or something like that. You might say, “How would you feel if I scratched my initials onto your Xbox? Would you be happy about that? No, you would not be. So how do you think it makes me feel or how do you think it makes the owner of this property feel when you scratch your initials on their property?” Help students to empathize with the person that has been affected. The way you do that is you help them to feel or think about how they would feel in the moment if it was something of theirs that got damaged.
4. Fix the Problem
The last thing is to ask for some kind of response to fix the problem rather than doling out an immediate punishment like, “You have got detention because you defaced the desk.” That is not going to help you or the student, long term because all you are doing is punishing the action. You are not teaching them to act appropriately the next time they want to destroy property.
What you can do is you can ask them, “What do you think an appropriate way to fix this problem might be?” If they have graffitied on the desk, they might say something like, “Well I should clean it.” Then you agree and tell them you think that is a good idea and say, ” You need to stay in at your lunchtime and clean this desk.” When they have contributed to the consequence or they have contributed to the response to make up for their damage, they will value the response better because they feel like they have had some say in it.
If they have stolen property or damaged property of another type, ask, “What do you think you could do to fix this problem?” Then they may respond, “I need to replace their pen” or “I need to replace their sharpener”. Ask, “Well, how are we going to do that? How are we going to manage that so that you do it appropriately?” Engage them in the process of the discipline or the process of the consequence. That way they will own it. They will internalize it and they will be more likely to learn a lesson from it rather than if you just jump on them because they drew something on the wall and then there’s no lesson learnt; they just get punished.
So these are four ways that you can respond to the destruction of property and a few tips to help you better understand why children destroy property, I hope this helps you.
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