In this episode, I want to talk about the topic of teaching less and coaching more. That might sound a little bit counter-intuitive, seeing as I am talking to teachers, but I think that there is a very distinct difference between a coach and a teacher.
If you prefer to watch the video, click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjeD60eF7OE&t=195s
When it comes to managing difficult behaviour with children, I find that the techniques used by the coaching profession are far more effective than the techniques often used by the teaching profession.
Here are 3 techniques used by coaches.
- Help them identify the problem.
- Get good at asking questions.
- Map out a plan.
I am going to explain to you why you use these techniques and give you some tips on how you can implement this in your classroom.
The distinct difference between teaching and coaching is this, coaching is really about facilitating a process, whereby the individual self-assesses and self-identifies the areas that they need to change and then takes steps towards changing those areas. What the coaching profession actually says is this; you do not have to be an expert in the field of discipline to coach somebody, you have to be an expert in helping them self-evaluate.
1. Help them identify the problem.
Very often you will find this approach used by sports coaches. They may not necessarily have been the best players on the field. Some of them never got to a professional level but they know how to elicit the best responses from their elite players. I am going to show you some techniques to help you do this.
Firstly, you need to understand that your job, as a teacher, is to facilitate a conversation with your students that helps them recognize the problem in themselves, recognize a solution that they can actually understand and implement and then support them through the management of that solution.
When you do that, you will find that the changed behaviour actually sticks. When people self-recognize and they self-regulate their own change, rather than being told they need to change, more often than not, the change actually stays with them. If we tell them what the change needs to be and we tell them what the solution needs to be and then enforce it by way of rules or consequences, what we will find is that the change is not long lasting.
Teaching is about giving information and knowledge that needs to be acquired by the student, so that they can see what they have done wrong. Teachers need to help the student to identify what the problem is. Part of our job is to disseminate information and to give our students the knowledge that they need, to understand the problem.
2. Get good at asking questions.
When it comes to behaviour management, sometimes we can get into the mode of saying, “You should not be doing that” or “You should not be talking like that” or “You should not be acting like that” and so we tell them what they need to hear and then we tell them how they should behave. We say, “I do not want you to behave like this, I want you to behave like that.” “I want you to put up your hand.” I do not want you to talk back to me.” “I want you to sit down in your seat.”
So we tell them what behaviour we want and then we put in a system of rules to enforce that behaviour. Now I am all about rules and I am all about enforcing rules but if that’s the only method that we use, then we will find that long-term change doesn’t stick.
So when you start having conversations with students, the thing you need to understand is, to be a more effective behaviour coach and coach students through behavioural change, you need to get good at asking questions, not just telling them what they should do. Ask them “What do you think went wrong in this situation?” “Why do you think we need to have a conversation?” “Tell me why you did what you did ?” “Tell me what consequences might come from that ?” Ask lots and lots of questions.
I did a video on my leadership channel just recently on the five “Whys” method. This is a method that corporations use to investigate dysfunction in their systems. They ask “why” five times. They don’t stop at the first why, they keep asking “Why” questions. This can be true of behaviour management too. You need to get into the habit of saying, “Tell me about what happened” and then say, “Tell me why you think that happened,” Ask “Why” five times. What you are asking them to do is drill down on their motivations and when they recognize their motivations, what they will be able to do is self-correct more effectively.
I even do this with teachers, when I coach teachers on their behaviour management practice. I observe them and then I spend the first 30 minutes of our conversation just asking questions. “What was it about your method that you think did not go well ?” Very often the teachers will say to me, “Just tell me what I did wrong.” You need to avoid that impulse to tell them. Say, “No I am not going to tell you what went wrong, I want you to see if you can identify it.”
That is the same kind of technique you need to use with managing dysfunctional behaviours. You need to help them identify for themselves, what went wrong because then it’s more likely to stick. So get good at questioning and spend less time telling. Once you get to the place where they identify the problem, what you have got to ask them to do is, buy into a solution.
Now that you have identified the problem, Ask if they agree that they need to find a solution to this. Start to question them again. Say, “What do you think you could do to fix this ?” “Tell me more, tell me what it would look like if you changed your behaviour?” “What would it feel like?” “What would it sound like?” How would I know if you’ve changed your behaviour?” “How would you know if you are being successful?” Keep asking questions about the solution, help them identify the problem and the solution. Then you can actually get them to buy into the change that is necessary for their behaviour.
3. Map out a plan.
The last thing you can do is to help them map out a plan. Ask, “What is the first step that we are going to do to make this happen? Write it down.” Then ask, “What is the second step we are going to write down?” You need to keep coming back to the plan. Whenever the misbehaviour raises its head, say, “Hey remember our plan? When we identified that this is the problem, we said that this is the solution. So step one is this, step two is this, step three is this.” If they are in the habit of calling out, say, “Hey, do you remember we talked about why this is a problem? What are we going to do? We are going to take a deep breath and we are going to control our impulse to call out.
Secondly, we are going to raise our hands, thirdly we are going to wait patiently until the teacher finishes talking to us. The fourth thing we’re going to do is, we are going to speak when we have the opportunity to do so, not before”. So, in this way, help them to map out a plan. This is what coaches do. They help identify the challenge within a player.
I do business coaching and leadership coaching, to help leaders identify the personality dysfunction or the leadership dysfunction in themselves. I then help them to self-identify the problem and a solution and help them to map out a plan to rectify the problem in the long term.
If you take that approach to managing complex behaviour or repetitive misbehaviour, what you will find is that it is more likely to stick. Children are more likely to want to work with you and more likely to actually put in the effort to rectify their behaviour if they are helped to self identify the problem, rather than if you just tell them that they did the wrong thing. Telling them what to do and having a bunch of rules and regulations has short-term value but it definitely doesn’t help you with long-term change.
So these are three ways that you can teach less and coach more. I hope that you found that really helpful, make sure you share this with somebody who you think would benefit.
If you would like to learn more about managing classroom behaviour effectively, why not check out our FREE video course Behaviour Management Blueprint. See below for details.
FREE eBook – Behaviour Management Blueprint:
5 Essential Strategies for Effective Behaviour Management
